A Sincere Apology to the Judge I Exposed Myself To

Your Honour,
                      This is my sincere (court-ordered by you, sexy) apology for exposing my genitals to you.

When The Past Repeats, It Increases In Ferocity

Remember your first nerdy obsession in grade school? Like how your life changed the first time you saw an episode of Transformers, because you had no idea something that awesome could ever exist? From that day on you begged your parents to get you a Transformer for every birthday and Christmas because those transforming robots were all you could think about. And do you remember that rich asshole kid in your class who had every Transformer you’d ever heard of, even though he didn't really like Transformers? He treated them like garbage, but would he ever let you play with them? No way. So you work your way through high school and college, move out of home, get a girlfriend, get a reasonably well-paying job, and painstakingly track down all those Transformers you were denied in your youth, all in mint condition. Then one day, after a particularly crappy day at work, you come home to find that asshole rich kid penetrating your girlfriend with your mint condition Starscream.

What I'm saying is, when life sucks the most, at least it does it in a way that makes you think "Well played, Life. Well played indeed." The sooner you realize that this is the only response that will stop you from putting a bullet in your brain, the better.

That is all.

Think Piece

You know what I like to do? I like to sit in a comfortable chair, stare into space, and think. Although maybe 'think' isn't the right term, because I'm not trying to solve anything, or come to a particular conclusion. I like to hold an idea in my head. I take great joy from this; it's when I feel the most calm, and content. To ruminate on an idea or concept or, like now, a theory...